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Redneck Dungeon
How To Tell You're In A Redneck Dungeon...
- Toys are displayed in wall-mounted gun racks.
- The dungeon masters are Bubba and Bobbi Sue.
- The hostess has bigger hair than Roseanne's ass.
- The suspension rings are hung on the deer's antlers.
- The neural wheel is missing a few teeth.
- The interrogation chair is the rusted seat from a '68 Ford pickup.
- The cage is already occupied...by a pair of tick hounds.
- There's an engine, lawn mower and rusted patio furniture scattered throughout the play area.
- The floor covering is hubcaps.
- The suspension cuffs are foam beer can covers.
- The branding irons have the same Flying ~W~ as on the cow that was tied to the porch railing.
- Coffee cans are strategically located on the floor to collect spit.
- The host refers to 'Y'all dominates and yer li'l critters'.
- There is tobacco juice running down the sides of the candles.
- There's a transmission in the body sling.
- The spreader bars are made from the axles of the same '68 Ford that the interrogation chair came from.
- When the Dom drives up in his pickup truck, his dog is lying in the front seat, but his sub is riding in the dog-box in the truck bed.
- Humiliation play is having to wear a Jeff Gordon t-shirt... and you're a Dale Jr. fan.
- The Dom's favourite scene outfit is a pair of leather overalls and a John Deere cap.
- The safeword is "cut it out or I'm tellin' Ma."
- A pair of pink flamingos brighten the dungeon decor.
- The Dom intimately remembers the names of the cows which supplied most of His leather for His toys and outfit.
- The slave refers to her Master as Daddy, because He really is.
- Most of the canes look like recycled fishing poles.
- The bull whip was actually used on bulls.
- At least one of the suspension scenes involve an engine hoist.
- There's as least one piece of unfinished dungeon equipment still on cinder blocks.
- The Dungeon music is mostly Country.
- The Dom's favorite paddle is the same one His daddy used to use.
- The fetish video library includes a copy of Deliverance.
- Most of the slaves are related to their Masters.
- The lube is made by Quaker State.
- Toilet training has to be done outside the dungeon.
- The restraints and chains were purchased at the local military surplus store.
- At least one piece of dungeon furniture is all black with the number 3 on it.
- You are being flogged to the sound of dueling banjos.
- You hear a slave refer to her Master as Boss Hogg.
- "Wal-mart is now closing" is acceptable as a safeword
Author: Unknown
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