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Little Red Riding Hood: The True Story
Don't you believe the fairy tale story that is told to scare the hell out of children who want to go play in the woods. First of all, Little Red Riding Hood wasn't so little when she had her encounter with the Big Bad Wolf. In fact, Red was a teenaged babe, well on her way to becoming a beautiful woman. Red got her name because she dressed all in red, from head to foot, from her undies to her cloak and riding hood. Now, since Red was a modern young woman, she dressed like Brittany Spears. What was little about Red was the amount of skin that those clothes covered.
One evening, after Red had finished her household tasks, she filled her basket with goodies, slipped on her cloak and riding hood, and headed for the door, to visit her Grandmother. Red's Mother spotted her daughter as she opened the door and warned her, "Red, it's too late to go to Grandmother's house, for the Big Bad Wolf prowls the woods by night. If you go, he'll find you, he'll grab you and throw you on the ground. He'll pull up your little red skirt, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off!"
Red paused at the door, whipped her cloak to one side, revealing a sawed-off double-barreled shotgun, and said, "Don't worry, Mum. I've got it covered."
Having reassured her Mother, Red headed out the door and walked down the lane through the village towards the woods. Halfway down the lane, she passed the house of Mother Goose, who was sitting on her porch, watching the world go by. When Mother Goose spotted Red heading towards the woods, she rose and called out to her, "Red, it's too late to go to your Grandmother's house, for the Big Bad Wolf prowls the woods by night. If you go, he'll find you, he'll grab you and throw you on the ground. He'll pull up your little red skirt, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off!"
Red paused in the lane, whipped her cloak to one side, revealing the sawed-off double-barreled shotgun, and said, "Don't worry, Ms. Goose. I've got it covered."
Having reassured Mother Goose, Red continued on her way. At the end of the village, right next to the woods, was the house of the Three Little Pigs. All three were in the yard, tending to their garden. When they spotted Red heading towards the woods, the three ran to the fence and called after her, "Red, it's too late to go to your Grandmother's house, for the Big Bad Wolf prowls the woods by night. If you go, he'll find you, he'll grab you and throw you on the ground. He'll pull up your little red skirt, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off!"
Red paused at the end of the lane, whipped her cloak to one side, revealing the sawed-off double-barreled shotgun once again, and said, "Don't worry, Boys. I've got it covered."
Having reassured the Three Little Pigs, Red resumed her trip, walking along the path that led through the woods to her Grandmother's house. And since the Big Bad Wolf did prowl the woods at night, he soon found her and confronted her on the path.
"Red, fancy meeting you in the woods at this time of day. Didn't anybody tell you that it's much too late to go to your Grandmother's house?"
Without waiting for an answer, he continued, "Didn't anybody tell you what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to grab you and throw you on the ground. I'm going to pull up your little red skirt, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off!"
At that, Red threw herself on the ground on her back, pulled up her little red skirt, pulled down her little red panties, then whipped her cloak to one side, pointed the sawed-off double-barreled shotgun at the Big Bad Wolf and said, "Oh, no you won't, Mr. Wolf. You're going to do it by the book. You're going to eat me!"
Author: Unknown
  
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